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Remember when I was hatin' on the Paleo diet? (It's for rich people! I can't afford to eat meat and raw nuts every day! Low carb makes me feel like crap! You can have my oatmeal and peanut butter when you pry it from my cold dead fingers! If eating raisins is wrong, I don't want to be right!)

...yeah, this blog is a documentation of my attempt at eating Paleo. Or more Paleo-ish, anyway. I'm not subscribing to any particular diet, as I don't give a shit about the ideology and fanaticism that comes along with any diet, I'm just trying to eat food that makes my body content and energetic. Right now, that means experimenting with (loose) Paleo.
Why? Because I realized that due to my 4+ years of anorexia and bulimia and associated gastroparesis, 90% of my intake was coffee, whole milk, whole grain toast, sugar, and the occasional piece of fruit, serving of vegetables, or granola/protein bar. A lot of restricting, then trying to play 'catch up' on calories and energy with something like Gatorade because it doesn't feel like "real food." (Note to self: eating and purging after working out does NOT actually count as "refueling"!)
I'm so tired of being perpetually tired.

MORE:
- meat
- eggs
- vegetables
- fruit
- nuts
- avocados

- water
- acidophilus/probiotics tablets

OCCASIONAL:
- dairy (milk, butter, cheese)
- potatoes & yams
- beans
- dark chocolate
- alcohol

AVOID:
- soy
- bars (granola, Clif, protein, etc.)
- sugar
- artificial sweeteners
- dried fruit
- added salt (including excessive amounts of condiments, soup broth, etc.)
- processed foods
- juice/Gatorade

GOALS:
- run a 10k this year (and possibly a half-marathon?) and continue to improve my 5k PR (23:45 as of 11/09).
- get my mileage back to 20+/week again; run for the love of it - that requires adequate FUEL.
- fix my screwed-up digestion, and stop using that as an excuse not to eat real food "because it won't digest anyway."
- stop losing muscle, hair and bone mass. I already have osteopenia and amenorrhea...
- gain weight to 120 lbs./BMI 18 and learn to maintain it. (maybe? intellectually, this is a goal; emotionally, this is fucking terrifying. same for the concept of getting my period back - I want the bone mass protection it offers, but I don't want to have to deal with it - both the physical event and the significance.)
- use my physical and mental energy for pursuits other than self-annihilation, like getting my Psych BA (and then MA in Social Work?) and ultimately working in a psychiatric inpatient/research setting.

"Health is infinite and expansive in mode, and reaches out to be filled with the fullness of the world; whereas disease is finite and reductive in mode, and endeavours to reduce the world to itself."

- Oliver Sacks